A New Top Three!

I have a firm belief that the type of car you drive reflects your skills as a driver. I don't apply this theory to people I know, only to random strangers I see on the road.

In general, it seems as though the more expensive the car, the more likely the driver is terrible. There is some logic behind this. If you have a more expensive car, you probably make more money than most people. If you make more money, you probably believe yourself to be more important than others. If you believe yourself more important, of course you're not going to be courteous or even observant of other people on the road. This doesn't even factor in the likelihood of a cell phone.

Here's my ranking of the top three worst drivers by car. I've added my suggested exclamations for situations involving them as well.

#3: Lexus
Always a favorite on the list, although it is down from the number two spot last year. I'm also seeing a lot more older Lexi on the road these days. Has this become the used car of choice?
Exclamation: "Son of a Lexus!"

#2: Nissan
This one came out of nowhere. Not even on last year's list, these drivers are rapidly shooting for the number one spot. And surprisingly, they aren't all that expensive a car. Way to go, up and comers! Update: I meant to write this originally, but it took my friend Pete's comment to remind me: The assholery of Nissan drivers seems to be unique in that it's pretty well confined to the SUV and Crossover models. Sorry, Pete!
Exclamation: "Nissan!" but said with a hiss through clenched teeth, much like Seinfeld's "Neuman!"

#1: Mercedes Benz
No surprise here. Consistently whether I'm being cut off on the freeway, nearly sideswiped from a parking lot, or just generally encountering jerky driving, I look forward to seeing that damned tri-sected circle.
Exclamation: "Mercedeeeeees!" screamed to the heavens while shaking your fist angrily at the sky.

I'm very surprised that BMW didn't make the cut this year. It has been a pretty constant performer for the past five years. Perhaps the market has diluted the BMW driver pool too much.