Sunday, January 18, 2004

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Hey Gang!

I hope everyone had merrry Christmas, happy Hannukah, joyful Kwanzaa, exuberant Festivus, and a very happy New Year!

I can't apologize enough for being out of touch for so long. I've become a bit of a hermit the last few months. I know many of you have sent me unanswered e-mails, and I promise you I will reply personally to all of them.

It's been so long since I've done an update and I have so many new tales to tell, that I've completely forgotten all of them. So this should be a relatively short one.

Well, as you may have guessed from the title of this update, the glorious, gorgeous golden locks of Greg are gone.I've tried to attach a picture file, but I don't know if it will go through. It shouldn't be too large, but I may be sending to too many people.

Anyway, what made me do it? Well, I did it for my Dad. I sold it in order to buy him a chain for his pocket watch. Ironically, he sold his pocket watch to buy me tortoise shell combs for my hair! Huh, go figure. Like most amputees, I do suffer from "ghost pains" from my missing appendage. I still go through the motion of pulling a squishee-hair-tie thing from the back of my head before going to bed every night. I get surprised when I run my fingers through my hair and it stops about 30 seconds too soon. I'm still trying to learn how little shampoo I need. And sure, I save a lot of time in the shower, but now I have to wash the back of my neck! But is this the end of the rebellious Greg? Like Samson and his strength, has Greg's loss of hair destroyed his creativity and independence? Oh, no, faithful reader, not at all. As an act of rebellion, I've decided to grow out my chest hair. I already have about 15 going, and I expect by the end of the year I'll be able to braid them. Maybe some nice cornrows dangling towards my bellybutton. We'll see.

Now onto more important matters. I imagine the question on everyone's mind right now is: What the heck was Mike Martz thinking in the last 20 seconds of that Rams game? I truly, truly don't know. Football season ended for me that day, so I empathize for all you Houstonians who will have some random couple of loser teams invade your town for the Super Bowl.

The other question may very well be: What's going on with the 6th Annual 30th Birthday Bash? Is Greg having it this year? What's the theme? Will I remember it afterwards this year for once?

Well, here's the deal. I screwed up. Due to terrible planning on my part, I wasn't able to reserve the brewery on my preferred date. I said, "But it's ME!" Unfortunately, that didn't hold as much sway as I thought it would. It has always been my intention to have the party, but I just waited too long to set the date. Who knew it had become such a popular place?

But, all is not lost, true believers! I do not intend to give up so easily. I have a theme, and invitations are (almost) ready. The key is the date. So I'm going to do something I haven't done before, and leave it up to you guys. Please send me an e-mail expressing your opinion on these options, in order of preference:

1) Some weekday in February (preferrably Thursday)

2) Some Sunday in February (we could make it a mid-day party)

3) Some Saturday in April (!!)

4) No party this year (!?)

Also, please send me your addresses so that I may send you the invitations (those of you working at BindView need not do this, as I will send them all to one of my loyal sidekicks there).

The theme this year is Saturday Morning Cartoons, but I include all animation in the Cartoons part (Disney, Simpsons, Family Guy), and all live action kids' shows in the Saturday Morning part (HR Puff N Stuff, Land of the Lost, Electra-Woman and Dyna-Girl).

Now, if it is decided not to do the party this year (sob) not only will I be very disappointed, but it will also really throw off my numbering scheme. But, don't let that influence you. Please just let me know your thoughts.


Your humble servant,


Oh, yeah, I almost forgot the quotes! Okay, let's see...

Movie Quote Challenge:

Number 1: "Cancel the Super Bowl? That's like cancelling Christmas!"

Number 2: "This little proposition doesn't entail me dressing up as Little Bo-Peep, does it?"

Good luck!

Movie Quote Answers:

Once again, the unstoppable Mary Felder has answered the quotes correctly!

Number 1: Black Sunday, by Ernest Lehman

Number 2: Fletch, by Andrew Bergman

Better luck next time!



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